Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Part 8 - Steve McQueen Loves Barbeque

(Please read the previous episodes before reading this posting)
Part 1 - Meet Jack Collins
Part 2 - Jack Would Rather Be in the Coffin Than Giving the Eulogy
Part 3 - Danielle's Ultimatum
Part 4 - Mr. Bond's Great Escape
Part 5 - Stanely Discovers a Half Naked Livingston
Part 6 - Houston, We Have a Problem
Part 7 - Drama at the Cafe
Jack is late to Danielle's family BBQ.

EXT. GROCERY STORE FRONT - DAY.
We see Jack enter into a busy grocery store. He approaches the cart rack and digs through his pockets but cannot find a quarter. He has a fist full of dimes, nickels and pennies. Frustrated, he
walks into the store.

INT. GROCERY STORE – DAY.
Jack is walking up and down the aisles putting food in his buggy. He looks around the store and realizes he’s the only person under sixty in the whole store.

CAMERA PAN AROUND THE AISLES.
We see a plethora of folks going about their shopping: one white haired lady with a small cart is squinting at the label of a box of granola, one couple wearing matching terry cloth sweat suits
is arguing over which type of peanut butter is cheaper, one elderly man is picking up one orange after another but cannot select any. He needs to avoid seniors in the aisles engaged in similar shopping activities already described.

As Jack finishes his shopping, he returns to the front of the store to find there are no manned check out counters, just the stations where you self-scan the items. Ahead of him is an old lady who is scanning the same item over and over because she cannot hear each time the item beeps.
CUT TO:
CLOSE UP OF JACK
Jack’s shoulders are hunched and his head is bowed. He is resigned to be here all afternoon.
INT. JACK’S CAR – DAY.
The trip to the grocery store has taken much longer than anticipated. Jack really needs to make up time if he is not going to be late. The streets are busy, but navigable. Jack’s cell phone RINGS. He pushes the button on his hands free set.
JACK
Hello?
VOICE OF DANIELLE
Jack, where are you?
JACK
I’m on my way Babe.
VOICE OF DANIELLE
You were supposed to be here fifteen
minutes ago. Everyone's waiting.
JACK
Sorry. I’m in the car now.
VOICE OF DANIELLE
Look, if you don’t want to come just say
so.
Jack is stressed talking and driving at the same time. He peers ahead desperately for a spot to pull over but cannot find one.
JACK
No I want to come. I went to the store and
got everything you wanted. Besides, I what
am I going to do with three bags of hot
dogs and buns otherwise? Warren can only
eat so much.
INT. SUBURBANR KITCHEN – DAY
Danielle is on the phone in her brother’s kitchen. Behind her we see activity in the kitchen as bowls of potato salad and coleslaw are being carried out to the patio. THROUGH THE WINDOW, kids running around the lawn, men with beers hanging around a smoking grill. At the grill, we see STEEL wearing an apron that reads: GOLFERS DO IT IN THE RUFF.
DANIELLE
OK. I know Steel is really looking forward
to seeing you.
VOICE OF JACK
(muttering)
I bet.
DANIELLE
What?
INT. JACK’S CAR – DAY.
JACK
I said “you bet”.
Jack is looking over both shoulders, frantically trying to find a way to find an opening in the traffic.
VOICE OF DANIELLE
Oh.
JACK
Good news. Things are easing up. I’ll see
you soon.
INT. SUBURBANR KITCHEN – DAY
DANIELLE
Fine, but Jack, come or not, we need to
talk. Bye.
Danielle hangs up. Her sister-in-law MARCIE hands her a margarita.
INT. JACK’S CAR – DAY.
We hear the DIAL TONE in Jack’s car.
JACK
Crap. That’s never good.
INT./EXT. JACK’S CAR – DAY.
Suddenly, Jack’s lane starts to move. Seeing an opportunity to get onto the freeway, Jack pulls onto the on-ramp.
EXT. FREEWAY ENTRANCE RAMP – DAY.
At the top he comes to a screeching halt: It is an absolute logjam. We hear HONKING above the general throb of idling engines.
INT./EXT. THROUGH WINDSHEILD – DAY.
Ahead, the occasional driver can be seen standing looking off into the distance as the MIASMA OF HEAT RISES over the collective cars.
INT. JACK’S CAR – DAY.
There is no way Jack can make it before the barbeque is over. Panic sets in as he knows Danielle doesn’t need any more excuses to break up with him. His ears POUND, sweat RUNS down his face as his eyes SCAN the horizon for a way out.
To go back down the on ramp would be against the law. The risk is too big to take. Jack’s hands slip on the wheel. He wipes his sweaty palms on his shirt.
CUT TO:
BULLITT - CLIP
We see Bullitt (Steve McQueen) pulling a U-turn on the highway in his green 1967 Mustang. He speeds off in pursuit of the black Lincoln.
CUT TO:
EXT. FREEWAY ENTRANCE RAMP – DAY.
Jack’s Pacer backs up, spins and drives down the on-ramp dodging two other cars on their way up. He hits the bottom of the on ramp and heads back through the street traffic.
CUT TO:
BULLITT - CLIP
CLOSE UP of McQueen behind the wheel looking focused but cool.
CUT TO:
INT. JACK’S CAR – DAY.
CLOSE UP of Jack looking nowhere near as cool.
CUT TO:
BULLITT - CLIP
We see McQueen speeding along the road weaving through traffic.
CUT TO:
EXT. CITY STREET – DAY.
Jack is driving through traffic weaving easily around the other cars, rapidly making his way into the suburbs.
CUT TO:
BULLITT - CLIP
McQueen leaves the road to avoid something, driving on the shoulder and grass.
CUT TO:
EXT. SUBURB STREET – DAY.
Jack is driving in Steel’s neighbourhood. Although the street sare empty, he’s constantly pulling up on the grassy boulevards knocking over the occasional garbage can or mailbox. Suddenly he crosses the road over the grass median, and spin-skids to a stop up against the curb in front of Steel’s house. Watching, mouth opened from the sidewalk, is a three-year-old girl on a Big Wheel.
INT. JACK’S CAR – DAY.
We see Jack sitting behind the wheel, hands gripping with white knuckles. He blinks twice as he comes out of his trance. As he becomes aware he is at his brother-in-law’s with no idea of
how he got here, he begins to HYPERVENTILATE. Still in a panic, JACK opens the door and gets out bringing the bags of groceries with him.
EXT. SUBURB STREET – DAY.
Jack walks past the front of his Pacer and we see chunks of grass stuck in the grill and fender. Shaking his head, Jack walks up the front steps of the house and knocks on the front door.
INT. SUBURBAN KITCHEN – DAY.
Danielle and Marcie are standing at the kitchen counter drinking margaritas looking out the kitchen window at Jack and Steel. Even through the window, JACK appears disheveled.
MARCIE
I don’t know D. Jack always did look kind of weird to me.
DANIELLE
Not like this. His behavior is completely
odd. Unexplained disappearing, fighting. I
don’t get it.
MARCIE
Sound’s like he’s screwing around.
DANIELLE
No, not Jack. -- That’s not like him.
MARCIE
Well, you said it yourself: his behavior is
odd.
MARCIE
True. A thirty two year old man with no
visible defects who’s never been married
must already have a fear of commitment.
DANIELLE
That’s Jack all right.
MARCIE
I bet subconsciously he’s sabotaging your
relationship.
DANIELLE
I never thought about that.
MARCIE
Sure. He’s rebelling. Look at him.
Both women turn and look at Jack standing next to Steel.
MARCIE (CONT’D)
He’s probably trying to figure out how to
escape right now.
PUSH OUT TO:
EXT. PATIO – DAY.
Steel is flipping hamburgers and hot dogs on the BBQ. On the lawn are at least a dozen kids chasing each other with water guns and dashing in and out of a small paddling pool. Jack has a beer in his hand and is struggling to pay attention to Steel’s conversation.
STEEL
So, then the on the 13th, I decided to tee
off with a three iron. I know it’s a par
four but with the way the bunker lines up
on the right of the fairway, you know,
before the dogleg? I figured this time I’d
try and lay up safe. This way I’m just a
seven shot from the green instead of a
nine, right?
A stray round of water ammunition hits Jack on the side of the head.
STEEL (CONT'D)
Tyler! What have I said about shooting
those things around the patio?
TYLER is long gone before Steel finishes.
STEELE (CONT'D)
So here I am in a position to lay it up on
the green with a nine after all. -- I ended
up birdying the hole.
Steel chuckles to himself.
JACK (AS BILL MURRAY IN CADDYSHACK)
Cinderella story.
STEELE
What?
JACK
You know “Cinderella Story, this
former greens keeper about to become...”
(beat)
It's from 'Caddyshack'?
Steel clearly does not get the reference.
JACK (CONT’D)
Never mind.
With one final flip of the last burger patty, the food is cooked. Steel turns off the gas with a flourish.
STEEL
Supper’s ready!
FADE OUT.